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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Woody Allen Jesus (活地雅倫耶穌)



Tim Minchin 最佳表演!
耶穌是個猶太哲學家,
好有諗頭
死都冇有怕,身邊好多粉絲....
矮 dud dud,猶太人,
講政治,
欲言又止好多分析....

....美....耶....穌.....,讚....美....活地雅倫耶穌!
活地、雅倫、耶穌!!

耶穌是個藝人....識得玩魔術...
令水變酒、
平靜風和浪......
今日都唔明點解....同 Darren Brown 表演好似....
讚....美....耶....穌....讚....美....魔法、活地雅倫、耶穌!
魔法。
活地雅倫。耶穌!

耶穌由死裡復活 (這週末很難過)、聖經如是說....
似足電影《生人勿近》...好似 Simon Pegg恐怖片...
試下咁玩你就大撚鑊啦....全村人會打鳩你!
讚....美....耶...穌!讚....美....魔法活地雅倫喪屍耶穌!
魔法、活地雅倫..
喪屍、耶穌!

耶穌上左天堂....認真誇啦啦....
唔係週時見到人飛天....消失在雲端.....
但得一次咁大把喎....「能力越大責任越大」
讚....美....耶....穌....!讚....美....魔法活地雅倫喪屍超人耶穌!耶穌...!


耶穌老母生佢出梨..冇同麻甩佬扑過野....
死都守身如玉....唔會剝衫除褲同麻甩佬攪....
不需異性去傳宗接代叫「單性生殖」
不要男子單性生殖繁殖動物有蜥蜴同蝸牛...
讚....美....耶....穌!
讚....美....魔法活地雅倫喪屍超人科莫多龍耶穌!耶穌!

耶穌可以同死人傾偈!十足靈媒Sally Morgan !
耶穌永身不死騎呢都未夠佢叫信徒飲血騎呢!
還能無處不在,十足電子或薛定谔隻貓!
耶穌仲響水面行來行去,
似足水陸兩用車.....

耶穌長髮留鬚唔著鞋.....
咪誤會我唔係話我係耶穌....我唔係話我係耶穌....
我唔係話我....係....耶....穌....
我....係....耶....穌....!

讚....美....耶....穌....! 讚....美....活地雅倫耶穌!
讚美魔法
‧活地‧
雅倫‧
耶穌!讚美

魔法活地雅倫喪屍超人科莫多龍靈媒僵屍量子力學氣墊船「我」耶穌!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

兩種面對死亡的方法

 
你可以學基督徒那樣,用自欺、懦弱於是選擇容易的方法去“面對死亡”,或者學他們,Carl Sagan 夫婦,用誠實、勇敢態度,就算方法是困難的,也用那方法面對死亡?

When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife.  They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again.  Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions.  The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again.  I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl, but the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is.  We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting.  Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural.  We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years.  That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful.

The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived.  That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday.  I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again, but I saw him — we saw each other.  We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.
Ann Druyan


我夫君是一個廣為人知的無神論者,所以他死時,很多人對我說,或者這是可能的, 卡爾離世時,有沒有改變主意,去信有神和來生?
他們也經常問我,我會否相信死後能見到他?
我和卡爾以巨大勇氣面對死亡,拒絕了一切幻想應許給我們的平安。
對,最大的悲哀是我和卡爾是永別。我不可能會和他重聚。
但最珍貴的是,我們相依為命的20年中,我們珍惜相聚的每一刻,我們深深知道我們只是宇宙中短促生命。
我們從不輕視死亡, 以為那絕非終局。
每刻我們活著,每刻在一起,都是奇妙的。
那那不是出於什麼超自然或神明的作為。
我們是隨機的機會下的幸運兒。
那隨機的機會很仁慈和寬仁大度的給我們生命,我們可以遇到對方,就想卡爾在“宇宙”中所寫,在浩翰宇宙和漫長時間中我們能相遇,然後能一起生活20年。
那是令我堅持的動力,也是我生命的意義 - 他和我互相的對待對方,和如何仁慈對待家人。這超越了日後和卡爾重聚的盼望。
我不認為我和卡爾將來能重逢,不過,我曾和他相逢,他曾和我相逢。在浩翰宇宙的時空,我們有緣相會,那才奇妙!

Ann Druyan,美國著明天文學家 Carl Sagan 的遺孀

傳福音走火入魔....

網上面書流傳一篇所謂「安慰」康湼狄格州校園槍擊血案的 post

耶誕前11天, 上午9:38分左右, 20個可愛小童一起衝過天堂的大門.
他們面帶笑容, 笑聲充滿天堂. 看見天堂的美景, 他們十分興奮, 他們內心充滿難以言喻的喜樂
他們完全不記得早點時候發生過的事情
"我們在哪裡?" 一個女童輕聲問
"這就是天家!" 一個男孩答, "我們在天父家過聖誕阿!"
他們充滿疑惑的目光停在一處, 他們的救主耶穌來了
孩子們圍著耶穌
耶穌張開手, 一一叫喚他們的名字. 那一刻對孩子是最大的喜樂, 只有天堂能給他們...孩子們飛撲進耶穌溫暖的懷抱.
一個小女孩看著耶穌
耶穌看出她想問甚麼: 放心, 我會照顧妳爸媽的.
耶穌低頭看會人世, 人間充滿悲哀, 痛苦, 憤怒
耶穌閉起眼, 朝地球伸手說: 讓我的能力再次進入世界, 救這個國家脫離愚昧人的手, 我要在這國家掌權, 我要得回學校
他然後不發一言站立, 對孩子們說: 來, 我帶你們四處看
孩子們興奮莫名, 蹦蹦跳跳的, 天真爛漫的跑
隨著耶穌離開我的視線, 我聽到他說, “在這黑暗的世界中, 我仍然是真光..."

按: 為了力求接近耶教術語, 我要壓下憤怒去翻譯 - 在悲劇中寫這種東西的人,不是有「盼望」, 而是失心瘋, 變態,精神病

WTF!!!!!


原文:
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate. Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there. They were filled with such joy; they didn't know what to say. They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day. “where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. “This is heaven" declared a small boy. "We’re spending Christmas at God's house”. When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near. He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name. And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face. And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad. “then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe, then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, “Let My power and presence re-enter this land! “May this country be delivered from the hands of fools” “I’m taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools! “Then He and the children stood up without a sound. “Come now my children let me show you around. “Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can. And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, “in the midst of this darkness,” I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

西洋笑話 - 次次來次次更新